I want to stick my p in your. b.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Quick, to the slutcave!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
