I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
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I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
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ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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