no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
