No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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