We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
