wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
