how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
