I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
