how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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