I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
