apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
