u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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