North Korea, Best Korea!
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
