Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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