4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
