but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
