My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
