i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
