are you still at the devil's house?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
