My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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