Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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