its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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