We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize