I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
