Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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