Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
