dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize