Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
