i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
