Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize