Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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