I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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