I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Is it because I queefed?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
