I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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