drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
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