I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
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