remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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