just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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