I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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