So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
