Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
