your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
