the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You are the jesus of drinking
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize