Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
