If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
