We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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