You really coming over, don't trick.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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