I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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