Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
