I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
