You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
