I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
