One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
