I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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