I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
