Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
