are you so shy because you have an std?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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