the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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