no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
where are you?
Hypothermia
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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